You know those Zen stories where something happens and the master warns us that whatever occurs is neither good nor bad, as it appears from our limited perspective, such as when the young boy breaks his leg, which seems terrible until he doesn't get drafted into war due to the disability? I have my own version of this story which I use to remind myself of this concept.We had this beautiful jade plant that we bought at the grocery store floral section one year. It grew nicely, and had outgrown a couple of containers and been repotted with love in a large terra cotta pot. Every summer we'd put it in the back yard for a couple of months, and move it back inside for the winter.
When Hannah was two or three, she used to like to play with the plant. She'd bring her stuffed animals over to play on the leaves and branches. Sometimes the animals got a little rough and I'd find some succulent leaves on the ground. I loved our jade plant, and I was annoyed that Hannah wasn't as careful as I would have liked.
One day, I came upon the plant to find a large section had been knocked off. I immediately went to find Hannah and let her know of my disappointment. After I scolded her and warned her again to stay away from the plant, I finished with my own temper tantrum and reassured her of my continuing love ("I'm upset, but love you much more than the plant"). Then I had her assist me in finding a new pot for the broken branch and carefully plant it and place it safely in the house.
Summer turned to fall quickly that year, and our beautiful jade survived outside despite the missing chunk. However, when an early frost came before we moved the plant inside, the whole plant withered and died. We tried to revive it in the house to no avail. It was at that point that I realized how fortunate we were that Hannah had nearly "ruined" the plant. All we had left was the sizeable piece that she had broken off, which was now rooted and growing nicely. It would be a while before it reached the size of the original, but was nevertheless healthy and beautiful. [If only the broken piece had been larger!]
A good thing or a bad thing, pleasant or unpleasant? Perhaps time will tell.
Aloha from Jeanie
When my grandkids decided to build a tree branch "tent" in my living room, with half the tree, just before the house appraiser was due to come, I decided at that moment that if I were to look back later on, the moment would be very funny to me. So why not by-pass the anger then and go straight to seeing the humor.
ReplyDeleteIt worked out so much better for all of us. We cleaned it up just fine and rebuilt one in the yard. I don't know if my 7 year old grandson quite knew what to make of me not being upset, but I sure like how it affected him and that's a moment of joy to remember.